The day is almost over....

So it was as bad/good as you could expect.  You will all get some good laughs from this day.  First of all, I start the day with $30 and a couple of credit cards.  So I get to the train station in the morning.  You have to buy a parking card and the minimum you can put on it is $20.  Oh yeah, and you can only use cash.  You think that whoever owns this place pays anything on his income.  I am guessing in some miraculous way, he breaks just even every year and pays no taxes on his cash income.  Anyway, so I get on the train with $10 and a couple of credit cards.  I then proceed to pay $5.75 to get downtown.  Of course the only thing the conductor will take is, you guessed it, cash.  So I am down to $4.25 before I get downtown.  I knew this was bad, but I thought everyone took credit nowadays.  

So I hop on the bus downtown and I don't want to be late for my first day.  What an impression that would be.  I ask the driver if we are going to Michigan and Hubbard.  She says yes.  She then proceeds to drive in the wrong direction.  I hop up and ask her again.  She replies, "Yeah, eventually".  What a joke, I want to take control of the bus and drive it off an unfinished road like in Speed, but I don't act on these yearnings. (Kacey would be proud) Instead I ask if I can get off here.  She cordially obliged.  Luckily, I already had my CTA pass, so I still have $4.25.  I hop in a cab and tell him I only have credit.  He asks me to get out. 

Now, I am almost late, 10 blocks away, and down to my measly $4.25.  I flag another cab and just don't tell him I only have plastic.  We get to the Wrigley building and I hand him the credit card.  He tells me that he doesn't accept credit cards.  I think about pretending to not speak English like so many cabs have done to me, but I play this one above board.  I tell him he can either call in the credit card or he won't get paid based on my lack of an alternative.  He grudgingly called in my credit card. Whew, still have my $4.25.

So the day goes great.  I met a bunch of people whose names I will never remember.  I try to complete my survey on how to use the Internet and fail.  Therefore, the director of interactive marketing is blocked from using the Internet until they can vouch that I am capable.  Someone comes from the help desk to try to explain to me how to use Internet explorer.  Funny how he figures out that there is something wrong with my computer and he can't pass either.  I find it ironic and downright funny, he is not amused.  What a bad sport. 

I get through the day and am supposed to go to a retirement party for some higher up.  Given that this is my first day and I haven't even heard this guy's name much less met him, I decide to work a little and head home.  This is where the day gets interesting. 

I was planning on taking the water taxi to the train station.  Since I know I have to use my credit card to buy a ticket home, I see an open taxi at the door of the Wrigley building and hop in.  Again, I "forget" to tell him I only have credit until we get to the train station.  Same exercise, he cusses me out, refuses to accept the credit card and finally calls it in.  So by this point I have 20 minutes to buy my train card and get on my train. 

I am fearing missing my train at this point so I run the entire 200 yards underground in 120 degree heat to try to make it.  Now I know you are thinking David Hasselhoff in Baywatch, but think the big slobbering dog in Turner and Hooch.  I, not so gracefully lumber the entire distance slightly wet with perspiration by the end.  Keep in mind, 20 full trains idle underground here and the engine heat keeps it a balmy 120 degrees. 

So I get to the counter to buy my ticket and I tell the lady what I need.  She tells me the price and reaches out for it.  I hand her a credit card.  She throws it back under the glass and waves her finger.  I laugh and can't figure out her problem.  She just sits there and stares at me.  Now through the 8 inch thick tinted glass, I can't possibly communicate audibly with her so I motion to hand her the credit card again.  She just shakes her finger and points to a sign.  They only accept Cash or Paper Check.  You have got to be kidding me.  I live in a world that I can buy books on my cell phone, record shows at home via the Internet, and most of us don't have wired remotes hooked up to our TVs anymore and I can't use a credit card to pay for parking or a train ticket.  YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!!  I show her my wallet and try to tell her I have $4.25.  She flashes a digital readout showing I need $5.75.  I ask her what I am supposed to do.  She tells me to borrow money from someone.  

Great, now I am relegated to the person that walks through the line and needs a little money to get home.  I love my life at this point.  I humble myself and start asking a few people.  Now I know how bums feel.  People wouldn't even look me in the eye, no one spoke English all of the sudden, and generally people started to try to physically avoid me.  Finally, I go back up and try to buy the ticket that will get me the closest to home.  I plan on calling Kacey and making her come pick me up where ever that is.  The lady finally says, "here, fill this out".  She writes in a sharpie - UNABLE TO PAY - SHORT $1.75.  She then takes my $4 and tells me to keep the quarter because "I might need it".  I thought about taking a run at the glass, or hulking out on her, but my day had already taught me enough lessons, so I pass.  I get my ticket, miss my original train by 1 minute and 26 seconds, and finally get home an hour late.  

I can't wait to go to bed, fall asleep, forget about today, and move on with my new life tomorrow.  But, secretly I can't wait to dream about handling that situation how I really wanted to...  Complete with brass knuckles, a portable credit card machine, and the incredible hulk as my commuting companion.  What sweet dreams I plan on having tonight...

Until tomorrow...