Day 5 - Intervention in the styling aisle

Well, I knew all day what I was going to blog about but I have a funny story from this evening first. I worked for Alberto for almost 7 years. I have purchased their products the whole time and forcibly coerced most people in my life under threat of bodily harm to financially support the company I worked for. I think that I am single handedly responsible for a good percent of growth every quarter. Anyway, I was at Target, the hundred dollar store (because Kacey can't walk out of there without spending at least that much!), to purchase some much needed stuff for Maddie. I have never walked out of Target in the last 3 years without doing some very specific things.

1. Re-face all of the Alberto products in the hair aisle.

I always go through every Target and make sure every Alberto product is perfectly shelved and facing forward. Then I always take the product and spread it out to increase our shelf space. To be honest, I have only been scolded a couple of times over the years. I then turn most of the surrounding product sideways. I always make sure not to do every can as to attract attention, but I make sure it is somewhat disorderly.

2. Convince 1 person that their product choice is wrong and they should use Alberto products.

Well, tonight's experience is not a new one, but I am sure most will get a laugh. I walk up to this 13 or 14 year old girl. First of all, she thinks I am a pervert, but her mom is no where in sight and she is impressionable at this age. Plus, if I can convert her now, she will be a lifetime user. Even though I am gone from Alberto, I decide to give it one more try.

I start talking to her about Aussie. She seems to like the purple. This is an easy one as I tell her the fecal history of Aussie and about the benefits of Tresemme which is shelved directly next to Aussie. After some convincing about Australian hair being different than American hair due to the clay in the air and anything else I needed to do to close the sale, she is a convert. Then her mom comes over. Quite scared that this overweight guy who is 2 times her daughter's age has been in a deep discussion with her daughter and even touching her hair, she jumps right in. Then, thinking back to my promise to all of you, I ask them to pose for a picture with me. The mom freaks and says she is going to have me discuss this with security. I backed off and told her I was just trying to help. The mom grabs a second can of Tresemme and storms off. Of course Kacey was in another aisle because she is embarrased by my actions in the hair aisle. And of course, she happens to be walking up as this woman is leaving. Without hesitation, Kacey apologizes for another hair fondling episode. I am slightly scared that my wife knew what went on without being there. Hopefully my experiences in the gum aisle will make her much more proud in the future.

Mission Accomplished, I think...

Now for the more serious side of today's posting. Having worked at Alberto for 7 years, I've told many a tall tale about our competitors, some true, most not so true. I think I have a unique ability to talk anyone out of purchasing a competitive product; once even doing so with a competitor's own employee. She had no idea that using her product caused premature hair loss in females. Who knew? But now, it is time for a new chapter in my storybook. I must now create story lines regarding gum. I can just imagine scaring young impressionable youth with stories of Wrigley's competitor's gum that will slowly kill their pets if they take the gum home or that it contains ground up race horses to retain flavor, all the while bestowing them with the wisdom that only Wrigley is a safe alternative. I have a couple of weeks to spin my wonderous web of tales and maybe I will even try them out once or twice. I will make sure Kacey approves so that she stays with me next time and I will have a lookout on the end of the aisle for approaching parents. Good or bad, I promise to let you know how it goes.

In all, this was much more entertaining than me telling everyone that it was 94 degrees and perfectly sunny the entire day here.

Until tomorrow...