Tough loss for the Redskins - with family support...

First of all, welcome from snowing Chicago. We have 2 inches of snow on the ground already, and they say we could get up to 6 inches of snow by morning. I don't believe them as they always are wrong, but we do have solid ground covering thus far...

So, today, we watched the Redskins, as a family. Well, kind of... Kacey puts up with the Redskins and even bought a jersey to show me that she is behind me. We have a couple of pictures of Maddie in a Redskins jersey and for the most part, she is a pretty avid supporter. She can't quite say touchdown, but she does raise both hands and signal for the touchdown when i yell "Touchdown", so it has been pretty fun. But, Maddie has been sick and no matter how interesting the game, I didn't think she was going to last today.

Though, I didn't expect my wife to give up on me like she did. Mind you, I was the one that got up this morning at 5am when Maddie couldn't sleep. I was the one who came down to the family room and slept with Maddie on the floor because she wouldn't go back to sleep. I was the one that was lacking sleep and therefore, I should have been the one that needed the nap. Not to mention, the game was awful and the Redskins got killed in every aspect of the game. So, when you watch the youtube clip below, at least have some sympathy that not only did I sacrifice for my family, but I was also the only one who was able to make it through the Redskins game.

I'm back... ( Mushy Post Warning!!!)

Well, it has been quite a while.  I have been meaning to post for some time now, yet the constant demands of the new job, 1 year old child, actually working out again, etc.. keep getting in the way.  Well, I will try to get back to the witty, sarcastic posts that give me a venting outlet second only to my wife, but this post is somewhat more sentimental.  But, don't worry, you won't be completely disappointed...

I have wanted to buy Maddie a baby doll for a while now.  Every time she is at my mother's house she walks around with this 1950's era devil doll.  Well, actually it is my mother's favorite doll from when she was a child.  Imagine Chucky with a female smirk permanently emblazoned on his face and you will get a small dose of what it is like to gaze into this thing's eyes.  Quite frankly, I am scared of it.  I know you probably think I exaggerate, so next time I am there, I am going to take a picture of it.  

So, I thought that if maddie can love something that ugly/scary, then she deserves something that she would actually admit to owning.  So, after much convincing, I coerced my wife into buying Maddie an American Girl Bitty Baby.  I only got her to purchase it by agreeing to wait until Christmas to give it to Maddie.  Mind you, this is the girl who never went to the zoo until 2 weeks ago, so what can she know.

I finally backed her into a corner and got her to barter Maddies Bitty Baby for something inconsequential when compared to my daughter's first baby doll.  And, tonight, we finally gave the baby to Maddie.  Kacey was still ridiculing me as we gave it to her.  But, as you can see in the following youtube video, Maddie liked the doll just a little bit.  In fact, she kissed it goodnight and tucked it in before we put her to sleep. 

While my wife is incredible intelligent and is usually right when we argue, SHE WAS WRONG AND I WAS RIGHT.  Sorry, just had to get that off my mind!!!  Enjoy the clip and hopefully, you will hear from me on a more regular basis going forward.  

Welcome Tyler

Finally!!!  My new nephew was born this afternoon. He is healthy and mom is doing well. 7 pounds 6 ounces. You have to admit, great looking kid, but his first onsie is awesome!

DONE

I am now done with my masters degree.  I just proof read my last paper and as long as the paper gets a passing grade, I am now a graduate.  Kind of strange, but I can't believe that it is over.  I am going to bed and not waking until mid afternoon.  Good night!!!

Frog in our pool

So with the tepid weather and slight rain over the past few days, you could say the pool has not gotten much use. Of course, for the last few months it has been hot and humid and we would really have liked to use the pool. But of course, the pool that was scheduled for 3 weeks took 14 weeks and we couldn't use it when we wanted. Now summer is ending and the weather is getting cooler, but we have a pool now... Anyway, enough of my complaining. So I went out to the pool today, to put a bunch of money, or chemicals into the pool to keep it swimable in case for some reason the weather got warmer and the clouds passed, and look what I found. It was a cute little frog enjoying my pool. Of course, this is just what I had in mind when I decided to forgo everything this summer and devote my life to putting a pool in. So, when it was all done and the weather wasn't warm enough to enjoy ourselves, that the mammal and invertebrates could at least enjoy my monetary and time contributions. At least this little guy won't have to go far to find a place to relax. Me, on the other hand, I am looking to go somewhere warn where I can swim in someone else's' pool...

My little food critic

I took the weekend off of blogging to reward myself. Actually, my brother in law is in town with his girls and the weekend was insane. It was great to see them, but it makes me realize that maybe I am not ready for additional kids at this point. Its not that they are bad kids, but when you go from one small child that is quiet and only slightly mobile to 3 kids with full vocabularies and full upright walking skills, life gets a little bit different. They get into everything and repeat things. Anyway, glad to have them, glad to have them leave. I am just not ready for more kids in my life at this point. But, I do want them in the future, just not tomorrow.

So one quick story. Believe it or not, my wife loves Hooters restaurant. I like the chicken also, but Kacey always wants to go there. So, we were in a rush and hadn't had dinner one night and decided to stop in there. Unfortunately, in our rush, we forgot a bib. Luckily, the waitress thought about that, yes, I said a Hooters waitress thought. And, next thing we know, she showed up with the bib that she has on in the photo. I thought it was great, though I am not sure that i will put it on her again. She seemed happy and had a great time. Scary, I know, but utilitarian in purpose.

Poor Maddie, Poor Kacey, Poor Me

Maddie has been struggling.  She is going through big time separation anxiety.  She only wants Kacey when she gets tired or she is crabby.  Kacey has now accused me of manipulating our young child to support this premise, but in all actuality, it is just hard.  As much as I would love to convince Maddie that she needs to cry for me at night so I can get out of getting up in the middle of the night to take care of her, she doesn't seem to understand the words that are coming out of my mouth.  She stares and then cries like usual.  Only to be calmed by Kacey's angelic presence.  It is hard to believe that anyone wouldn't be calmed by my proximity, but Maddie is only soothed by Kacey being within arms reach.  It is also hard to believe that anyone would classify Kacey's presence in the middle of the night as angelic, but I am reaching a little. Just Joking Kacey...  

While it has been a long couple of weeks, I am actually hoping it will change soon, because I love it when she snuggles with me in the evening.  And believe me, she is not a snuggler most of the time, so those evenings are oh so precious.  

and retail is down...

It was about 85 degrees tonight about 9pm.  Maddie has decided that she won't miss any of the Olympics and is therefore, staying up until 12am again.  So we decided to go shopping.  We stopped at Gymboree because it closes at 9pm even on beautiful nights with many people in the store ready to spend money.  We had 5 minutes to shop and took advantage of it.  Then, we proceeded to Borders Bookstore which closes at 10pm.  Or so we thought.  We walked up and they were locking the doors.  Seems, they have been slow so they have decided to close at 9pm.  Seems very intelligent to me.  Sales revenues are down.  Overall shopper numbers are down.  Stock price is depressed.  So, on a beautiful night with many people still out, you should shut down early.  For the convenience of your staff, lets forgo all of the money that people were more than willing to contribute to your P&L, and just go home early.  And you wonder why retail is down.  Because retail is starting to be about convenience as opposed to serving the customer.  You would think that the store manager, seeing about 20 people wanting to enter his Borders, would just stay open.  Lets get the store numbers up.  Lets show corporate some proactive signs that we can improve sales.  Umm, it is a beautiful night, lets just head home early.  Yeah, good luck hitting your quarterly numbers.  And you know the options that never seem to pay out like you had hoped.  Well, look in the mirror.  Yes, I am this bitter because I was trying to pick up a magazine and missed out by 3 minutes.  Frustrated, yes.  But, don't worry, Barnes and Noble never seem to close early...

Great German Segway Video

Check out this video. Someone sent this to me this morning. It is a Segway in a crash test. It is run full speed into the side of the car. Now you won't understand anything that is said in the video since it is in German, but it is kind of funny. It gets better about half way through when it shows people falling when riding the Segway. But the clincher is the 2 frame photo of President Bush falling off a Segway. Well worth the waste of 2 1/2 minutes!

How could it end so quickly

I have a hard time believing that there are actually 24 hours in the day over the weekend.  I swear, you wait for the weekend all week, and then it is over before you know it.  I don't quite understand how it all goes by so quickly.  To get it out of the way, Kristy still has not given birth to baby Robert.  Sad I know, but it has to be pretty quick.  Otherwise, that baby is going to start ordering room service, he has a small condo in her stomach!

Maybe a new nephew???

So, after the post from last night, you know how close my sister is to having her baby. We have told her, please, call the second you are going in. I have been the bad brother/uncle that has been out of Illinois every time that she went into labor. I missed the birth of my two nieces and I am not planning on missing this one. Especially, since he is going to be named after me!! So, the second part of this, is that everyone knows not to call our house really early. Maddie doesn't go to bed until midnight and she usually sleeps until 11am, so no one calls, right?? Well, the phone rings this morning at 8:50am. First, I am sure it is a telemarketer. Then, I look at caller id and realize it is my parents. I know it before I even pick up the phone. Kristy has called them, she is going into labor, and on the night of a full moon, like my daughter Maddie, our new nephew is coming.

Ummm, no. They just wanted to let us know that they will have child care at church this morning. While helpful, not the news I was looking forward to in order to wake me from my sound slumber. So excited, I couldn't fall back asleep. I got up and had some breakfast and started my day early. Like I do every other day during the week that I can't sleep in due to work. Oh well....

New Nephew coming soon!

Well, today was the last day of school for me!  Thanks for all the congratulations that are sure to pour in...  Anyway, it has been a long couple of years and a very quick couple of years all at once.  I think I started the grad program because I had nothing else going on.  Work was somewhat slow and we had no kids.  Now, my new job is crazy, I have a mobile 9 month old, and I can't find enough time to get things done, so I am glad to be done with this phase in my life.  Anyway, we went to California Pizza Kitchen to celebrate and enjoy a little dinner time with Maddie.

So, we stopped by my sister's house on the way home.  She just got the family room and bathroom painted and we wanted to check it out.  They used to have pink walls, yeah, no joke.  Kind of crazy.  In fact, I think you can kind of see them in this pic, but believe me, that does them no justice.  Anyway, the new color is beautiful, but the biggest thing, well, that was too easy.  The biggest thing was my sister's stomach.  My new little nephew is coming VERY soon!  I think they are going to name him Robert after me.  Please send my sister all kinds of great, warm emails telling her how nice it is that she is naming her first son after me.  I was very touched myself.  Quite honored and almost brought to tears.  Here is her email:  basket_lover01@yahoo.com 

So then I got to thinking.  Why do we always want to decide when babies come?  What if we were relegated to waiting for them to crawl out?  What if it wasn't 9 months, but a timing of their choosing?  Like my sister, she would have gotten out at about 6 months.  Just long enough to have most organs working properly but she would not have wanted to be under parental oversight for any longer.  Or Kacey, I think she would still be in the womb all warm and protected.  Or myself, well, on one hand I think I would still be taking a nap or procrastinating, and on the other hand I would have gotten out with big plans that I would still be dreaming about now.  Either way, I am kind of glad for the whole 9 months thing.  I am not sure either the baby or the parents are ever ready for the 9 months to end, but it does and we are all forced to move on.  

I can't wait for my sis to have the baby.  Mostly, because I will take a day off work, but I am also looking forward to baby Robert to join our family.

Ran out of batteries?

So, today traffic was horrible.  I know everyone always says they are stuck in traffic, but I really was.  I left the city just before 6pm and hit rush hour traffic.  I knew that it was going to be a long drive home so I filled up with gas in the morning.  The funniest thing happened, I ran out of batteries.  To be more specific, I drive a hybrid Honda Civic.  I love the car and it gets me almost 50 mpg.  It is a quick little car that drives more like a 6 cylinder than a 4 cylinder due to the electric motor that supplements the gas engine.  So today, I used so much battery sitting in traffic with the gas engine off, the battery ran all the way down to 0.  I didn't know this was possible, but today I can vouch that it is possible and probable if you drive during rush hour.  So, here I was, trying to do the speed limit in a car that I felt like I was pushing.  You don't realize how much the electric motor helps out until you don't have it.  In fact, I thought that I would never get up to 70mph, of course that wasn't until I was nearing Wisconsin, and almost home!!  Thank goodness the battery recharges itself and should be ready for the drive again tomorrow.

NYC and the Jonas Brothers

I have been traveling and have had little time to blog. Actually, I just got a little lazy. With one more class before my masters is complete, 9 days into Maddie being mobile, and traveling, I have taken a few days off of writing. So here is the great story from this week.

Tuesday, I fly to New York. I have a meeting there and want to get in and out as quickly as possible. I know some of you out there are a little strange and actually like New York, I, on the other hand, spend as little time there as possible. From the garbage lined streets to the flights absolutely never being on time, there is little to like about New York. But, I have to say, for the first time it was not bad. My flights were on time and the weather was really nice.

So, I had to go through Times Square to take a picture of a billboard for work. I get to Times Square and the cops are ridiculous. I mean, they won't even let you look around. There are millions of 12 year old girls screaming everywhere. The naked cowboy is enjoying the rush of people.  For anyone who has not seen him, click on the link, it is well worth it.  This guy is there all the time and this is what he does for a living.

Anyway, so I find out that the reason everyone is crazy is because the Jonas Brothers are at MTV.  I think, of course, the Jonas Brothers.  Then, I think, who are they???  Anyway, here is a link to their site for those of you who are as lost as I was as to who the Jonas Brothers are.  Even after I read their site, I am not sure why they are famous, but I guess they are really big right now.  

Anyway, I am back now and will try to keep up a regular schedule again.  

Moving forward

Well, this weekend has been crazy. We had Kacey's brother and his wife in town. It was great to be around them and see our little nieces. We don't get to see them that often, so to have them here in Illinois was wonderful. If you read through the last post, you know that the Great Grandma was in town also. Anyway, it was a subdued weekend that is now over.

One quick story that might be of some humor. Kacey is a huge Dave Matthews Band fan. We didn't go to the concert last year due to some events that precluded us from going. I surprised her this year and got tickets without her knowing. I arranged the babysitter and took her to Alpine Valley for the concert. Well, we both realized that this was something better left in the past. The concert was filled with pot and alcohol. To the point that the guy in front of us threw up all over the seats and people in front of him. While the concert music was good, it was a different environment than we are used to. Well, I guess Maddie does spit up quite a bit, so I guess not that uncommon. Anyway, we looked at each other half way through the concert and realized that we would probably enjoy ourselves much more with a glass of wine somewhere or just a simple night at home with Maddie. We realized that life is wonderful, it is just different than it used to be. Different priorities, different meaning in life. I guess it is time to move forward and leave the past in the past. Though I have to say, it was really funny to watch this guy throw up on everyone. Since it wasn't me, I really found some enjoyment in that instant. Good Night!

At least its not my family... Just Joking!!!

I went out to dinner with my wife's family tonight.  Great Grandma Jill, her parents, and her brother and sister-in-law and their 2 kids.  In the picture is Jill and all of the girls.  I was thinking how cute it was that they all wore the same color.  Actually, everyone just kept saying that all night.  While I thought it was an interesting side note, I didn't find the complete awe and earth stopping feeling about the clothing colors that others felt.  Anyway, I am sure most of you know what that is like, but let me tell you in case you were wondering.  We went out for pizza.  A lot of fun, until we sat down.  They sat us at a table right next to the windows with no blinds.  I ate dinner with my sunglasses on.  Yes, I was that tool who everyone thought I was trying to be cool wearing my great Revos (did I mention I now have 4 pairs?) indoors.  The kids threw things throughout dinner, everyone yelled.  Oh yeah, and Jill, did I mention that she is slightly deaf and cannot hear anything?  So, randomly, she would yell something.  It never quite fit into the conversation, but we all smiled, nodded, and went on with our conversations.

So here is the best part.  We are back at the house and sitting around talking.  Maddie is playing with the ball you see in the picture.  Great Grandma Jill takes the ball and decides to play catch with the 9 month old.  The next thing we all notice is the ball going about 90 miles per hour right into Maddie's face.  She bounces back, smashes her head on the plastic lego table, and lands smack on her chest in the middle of the floor.  We all stare in amazement at what we saw. No one says a word, everyone lunges for Maddie who is doing the silent scream at the point.  Then, the best line of the whole night.  Jill Screams, "I think she liked it", and cackles.  So strange beyond words that this simple write up does not do justice to the out of world experience of watching your only child get pummeled in the face with a big orange ball and bounce off the table only to come to rest on her slightly ajar nose.  

While I do love Kacey's family, I want to drift to sleep without these sights etched in my eternal memory though I fear that will never happen again...

I love my new smoker

Yes, it is as bad as it looks.  So, here is how the story unfolds...

Bob really wanted a new smoker.  Kacey kept telling him that when he got a little older he could get one.  Bob went to the store and bought one ignoring the advice of his wife.  Well, he decided to test it out.  He made smoked hamburger patties and smoked some bacon to put on top.  Everything was great until Kacey decided to complain about the smell of the smoke getting into the house and making everything smell like Mesquite wood chips.  So, of course, being the dutiful husband who would do anything and everything to make Kacey's life better, Bob decides to adjust the vents as to ensure that the smoke is not wafting into the house.  As Bob is reaching into the inferno, Kacey asks him another question.  Trying to give her his undivided attention, he looks up to ensure that she knows he is listening.  Meanwhile, the flesh on his thumb cozies up to the molten lava charcoal tray.  By the time he realizes that his flesh is slowly bubbling down to the bone, it is too late.  Bob yells, grabs the piece of skin and tries to reattach it.  Realizing that this will not work, he runs in and grabs a stalk of Aloe Vera from the plant window and thrusts the salve over the open wound.  Needless to say, Kacey reminds him, in this very instant, that he shouldn't have bought the smoker in the first place.  And, secondly, that it makes the house smell.  Bob considers a very strongly worded response, but declines to say anything fearing world war III that would result.  Bob swallows his ill advised words and continues to try to reattached the putty like skin that is left surrounding the gaping hole in his thumb.  And for those of you who don't believe me, well, you now have a great picture at the beginning of this post to remember in your sleep.

Navy Pier in all its humid glory

Well, I spent the day at the end of Navy Pier.  Mind you, it is a LONG walk to the end of the pier dressed up and 90 degrees out.  Since it rained last night, it was as humid as it gets.  I was literally sweating like a banshee by the end of the pier.  I had no misconceptions why everyone avoided sitting next to me, I earned my lonely existence on this day.  So here is my question of the day:  What kind of jobs do these people have?  I mean, this picture does not do it justice.  The pier was packed with people. Do people just take random days off to peruse Navy Pier.  Because, having been there many times, there is just not that much to do.  Really.  It is nice and all, but you wouldn't want to use a precious sick day on this trip.  Especially not today.  It was wet fog that dripped humidity and blocked all buildings from view.  I understand using one of those days for Wrigley Field.  Really, that is worth it.  Navy Pier, not so much.  Which reminds me, I missed my team building day with the work team at the Cubs game today.  I am the dutiful employee that skipped the fun, and instead did the whole responsible thing and went to the conference.  Not that anyone will notice or thank me, but it was the right thing.  Besides, that whole team building thing is overrated in a preassigned setting.  When you schedule team building, it is bound not to happen.  Team building happens at 10pm on the night before a big campaign launch and you all have worked 70 hours the week prior.  It is that whole, we did it together, we sweated together, and we accomplished together respect that builds teams.  Though alcohol always helps too.  But, I think that is more blackmail than team building, but that is for another post.  At least that is how it was at Alberto...

What's too early?

I am having a hard time being awake this morning. I had to get up by 5am to catch a train downtown. I am attending the Ad:tech conference. The location is nice. We are on Navy Pier. I will take a picture later of the event, as it is quite the elaborate setup. One thing I have noticed, no one should be cheery in the morning. And if you are, at 5am, don't sit next to me on the train. Better yet, don't talk, at all, on the train. Whether you are sitting next to me or 5 rows behind me, just don't talk. I don't want to hear about your night last night. I don't want to hear about you complain about the cost of coffee. Please get the message, I don't want to hear you period. Neither do the other people on the train giving you dirty looks. 5am is not a time for conversation. It is a time for self reflection. In other words, sleeping. Just because you got an inordinate amount of sleep that none of the rest of us got, we don't want to hear about it. Save it for the forgiving return train that seems much more open to conversation. The morning train is not for community, it is a zombie like shuttle to a semi-conscious state upon arrival. Just enough to wonder into the office with eyes slightly ajar and coherent enough to pass for alert.

Hail to the Redskins!

Many of you know that I am an extremely devoted Washington Redskins fan.  What a weekend, Darrell Green and Art Monk, 2 of my favorite players, were inducted into the Hall of Fame.  Then, the Redskins killed the Colts on tonight.  Jason Campbell played well, Colt played well.  It could not have gone better.  Secondly, Maddie was not a jinx.  Believe it or not, the Redskins have played quite poorly with she has rooted them on.  The first week she was born last year, we lost by 30+ points.  Then, Sean Taylor was tragically killed in a robbery at his home.  Finally, Joe Gibbs retired after the long season.  While not all of it can be blamed on Maddie, I am a little concerned how much lay at her feet.  So, she wanted to change things up and really show her team pride.  She got dressed up in her Redskins Onsie and laid on her Redskins blanket for the whole game.  We played great and I am starting to forgive her for last year.  Time will tell, but my wounds from last year are starting to heal.  This year should be better than last...

Starting to crawl, and crawl, and crawl

Well, Maddie is so proud of herself.  And, well, to be honest, so was I... For the first 20 minutes.  I really thought it was cool.  I thought she was so advanced and I am sure that she crawled earlier than anyone ever has before.  I am starting to see how parents become blind to their children's transgressions.  I settled into this belief that I should call Guinness and get her registered as the youngest most advanced crawler ever!!  Then, after about a half hour of actually having to follow her, I thought about tying her feet together to stunt further progress.  Don't get me wrong, it was possibly the coolest thing so far to see her mobile.  Then, it dawned on me after the first half hour, that she was... well, mobile.  I got tired really quick of the whole impressive crawl.  I already yearn for yesteryear where she would lay on her back and play with toys.  And, of course, I am only hours into this mobile thing.  My sister laughs and she warns me of the mobile stage, but it has quickly dawned on me how much life has changed.  I am already considering a small (and very loose, and padded) dog collar with a short length of rope to keep her safe.  I am just looking out for her!  I thought an electric fence or anything that shocked her is much too early for her current limited mobility stage.  But a small rope and comfortable collar might just do the trick.  Somehow, I don't think Kacey is going to allow this.  In fact, after she reads this, i am pretty sure that I am not babysitting alone any time soon either.

Just another use for the iPhone

As if everyone else hasn't already come up with great apps and uses for the iPhone. I have to say, that this one tops all others in my book. Take a look at this clip from tonight and I will explain afterwards.

I can't believe it, I am getting really old. Maddie decided that the glowing iPhone, like a beacon of hope, was worth crawling for. Now, she didn't have the urge when it was simply Kacey or I a few feet away from her. And not even for food did she ever get the inertia moving toward her goal. Yet, like her daddy, she couldn't resist technology. I am not sure what makes me more proud, my daughters first stumbles of a crawl or her love of technology at such a young age. Either way, I am thrilled.

technology today

I was just reflecting on exactly how much life has changed. I never had a cell phone growing up, yet yesterday I held a conference call with 3 countries from my blackberry. And since I was on my blackberry on the train, I had my iPhone out to check the web while the call was going on. While my wife would disagree, it is amazing how we all multitask nowadays. I am sitting on the train going into the city with my wireless card in my laptop doing emails. I also use my bb to twitter some random thoughts - www.twitter.com/rupp I have a blog, a twitter page, a facebook page, 2 cell phones, 3 laptops, and 2 desktops. This does not include other data storage and random other odds and ends in the technology world. How did people manage 20 years ago? I get frustrated when I can't find a wireless signal and think that my current company is behind the times for not having building wide wireless. My parents didn't have computers, cell phones, or virtual voicemail. It is amazing to me that the world continued to spin without all of the technology that we all depend on daily. Most kids have their own cell phone and computers. I guess I have a love/hate relationship with technology. While it makes life easier, it makes it harder to live without doing more stuffed into every second. In light of this thought, I am going to shut down the computer, both cell phones, and sleep all the way to the city this morning. Now thats doing it old school.

Train pulls in, train pulls out

First, let me tell you that you don't want to criticize your wife to the whole world. I have not gotten past the whole "whose fault was it that Maddie pee'd on me last night". She is still a little bitter, but that is my lot. I even think she got to the train conductor. I was walking down the line to get on the train when it pulled out of the station. Usually, there is a little sound or something to clue you in that the train is leaving. I saw my conductor look at me and with a gleam in his eye, lock the doors and pull the train out leaving me standing alone on the deck. I am guessing that Kacey had something to do with this, but not sure how. That is the thing that sucks about commuting by train. Literally, on the second, the train pulls out of the station. It waits for no one. Like death, there are no second chances.

Don't listen to your wife

Today has been a long day.  It started with a 45 minute wait on an un-airconditioned train that was broke down half way to Chicago.  Of course, since the rest of the trains were delayed we had to make every stop on the way to Chicago which took my 1 hour express train and made it a 2 hour stop at every stop train that couldn't possibly fit another small child.  Amazingly though, the ticket collector was able to slip by everyone and collect tickets on every car.  You would think that they would have given us a free ride after putting up with that.  i would have happily paid the $4 to take me back and just let me drive.  

Either way, my night only got better by some stunning advice from my wife.  She is going to be upset that I wrote this, but this was her fault completely.  Maddie was going to take a bath, so I changed her quickly and was putting on her diaper to take her upstairs.  Kacey says, and I quote, "why would you waste a diaper?  You are just walking upstairs".  So I listen to my all knowing and supremely wise wife who always seems to be right.  Yeah, I turn on the water and put Maddie over my head to give her a quick superman ride.  She gets so excited, she pees all over me and the bed.  Kacey grins and says, "thats funny, I didn't think she would pee".  Really?  Thats all you have when you so blatantly screw up, and you say "thats funny"???  Come on, you have to do better than that.  Thats like driving through a crowd of people and denting your car.  "thats funny, I didn't think about the damage on the the car."  Lets be clear.  That is not funny.  Nor did you think.  Thinking would have been putting the diaper on Maddie to ensure that no accidents happened.  But, at the end of the day, I chose to listen and not put the diaper on.  So I will take roughly 3% of the blame.  Last time I listen to my wife when it comes to human waste issues.

Busy weekend

As you can see, I had a little help tonight with the blog posting.  She felt as though I chose the wrong picture on Friday and wanted to ensure that the pictures showed her in the most flattering light.  She also has been helping me with spelling and a little grammar.  She doesn't really enunciate well, but she is amazing on the keyboard!

So, I know that all of you are wondering what we could have possibly did this weekend that kept me from blogging yesterday.  Well, I have gotten up early both Saturday and today to get stuff done.  I had to get up early yesterday to clean the pool, get gas in Kacey's car, get it washed, get the oil changed, and fill our bike tires with air.  Now that we have the bikes, I thought we should actually ride them.  So when i got home from all of this, we put the bike carriage behind my bike and went on a 1.5 hour bike ride with Maddie.  I thought it would be fun, but for someone who hasn't exercised in a long time, it was more of a tortured roll through the town.  I blamed it on towing Maddie, but its really just me being out of shape.  At this age she can't defend herself so it is just easier to shift blame onto her.

So finally, Maddie was frustrated with the lack of grass in our yard.  She has never played in the grass, so she felt it was time to change that.  I tried to explain to her that the landscapers STILL weren't done and it would be another week or so.  She decided to take control and change things herself.  The next thing I knew, as you can see below, she was working the land like a pro.  I was a little scared, but she did some pretty good work.  Plus, she is a lot cheaper!

1st Cosmetic Surgery for Maddie

So yes, Maddie has had her first elective surgery.  She got her ears pierced today.  She already loves to show them off.  As you can see, she likes the yellow hat as she thinks the pink stones really stand out against it.  She is already a little diva like her mother.  So seeing the immense pain that she went through to get the earrings, it made me glad we did it at such a young age.  But, it also made me wonder why we pierce ears, or any other crevice on our bodies.  There is no functional value to the piercing.  It is not like it fights infection, corrects vision, or even keeps us warm.  At the end of the day it does nothing except increase the risk of getting them caught on something and having our ear lobes torn asunder and needed a second cosmetic surgery to sow our ears back together.  I am not sure why I am speaking in "us" and "we", as I don't have my ear pierced and never will.  i had a couple of friends in high school pierce their ears, guys, and I always thought that they looked stupid.  Lets stick a long, sharp needle through our ear so that people will like us more.  Better yet, my favorite is when people where these big 3 carat diamonds in their ears to look rich.  Like I am going to think better of you because you have a big cubic zirconium in your ear.  Anyway, I think that Maddie looks adorable with the earrings, so I don't mind her having them.  I just don't understand where something like that starts.  How does someone get the idea that poking a big hole through perfectly good skin, making it bleed, and needing to insert some object so the skin doesn't fix the wound, self repair, and close the hole naturally.  And then, how do other people admire that and mirror this strange behavior.  Masochists if you ask me, but cute nonetheless.

iPood

So this is Maddie tonight.  A couple of friends bought this onesie for Maddie when she was born.  I thought that maybe she would wear it in the first couple of months.  Here it is, she is turning 9 months old, and I can finally put her in it.  I have a strange sense of humor, so i find a shirt that says iPood really funny.  It is kind of strange how differently we all adapt humor into our own lives.  While joking about bodily functions of a baby may make me laugh, to some people children are annoying.  My wife always thinks that I am crazy because I find odd things funny.  Like when she is really mad and loses her temper at me, I think that is really funny.  Or when Maddie puts her hand prints all over the mirror, I find that really funny.  Or that new Japanese Game show Wipeout.  I find the original much more funny, this is a can't miss. I mean, where else can you see people run on a treadmill at full speed with swim flippers on while people throw full sized blow up animals at them until they trip and fall in a big shaving cream pool?  Or better yet, make them run up a ramp while throwing logs at them while spraying them with a full sized fire engine hose in the face.  For those of you who think that that sounds funny, this show is for you and the shirt should make you laugh.  The rest of you, lighten up.  Live life a little, and learn to laugh at yourself.  Believe me, over the past couple of months, I have done a lot of laughing at myself for your entertainment.  So loosen up and enjoy life a little.  You might be surprised how unserious and enjoyable life can be.

The cure

So I know you were wondering what cure I might have come up with.  And especially since my career path has not wondered down a path of medicinal purpose, I know you might be lost.  Then, of course, you might be thinking, what kind of disease does he have that he might need a cure from.  All of you would be wrong.  The picture at the top might have given it away, but I cured the smoker tonight.

Of course I didn't start out curing it.  No, I opened the box to 55 pieces of metal and a big box.  Kacey had plans tonight so it was Maddie, me and the big metal smoker.  Additionally, Maddie is going through separation anxiety right now.  Not just the simple, I don't want to go to other people anxiety.  More like the, I don't want to be set down or I will scream like you cut off a finger separation anxiety.  So, it was a lot of fun/frustration putting together the smoker.  The best part was trying to hold a nut and washer on the back of a bolt, while holding Maddie.  Trying times, but Maddie found it entertaining nonetheless.  

Finally, I got it put together, after putting the legs on twice.  Who would have thought they were supposed to stick out to the side???  And i had to go through the cure process.  Having never done it, it wasn't too bad.  You are supposed to wipe down the entire thing with vegetable oil and then start the charcoal and wood chips and let it cook all night.  As you might guess, wiping it down with one hand on Maddie was difficult.  If you look closely at the picture, you can see where I spilled the bottle of vegetable oil on the top of the smoker.  

I was going to surprise Kacey, until I realized that I spent the whole night with Maddie right in front of the smoker, she smells like mesquite wood chips.  I gave her a bath to try to hide the fact that I did this project with Maddie in my arms from Kacey.  So, by the time Kacey got home, Maddie smelled like mesquite wood chips, lavender baby wash, and Lily baby powder. After one waft of the burlesque club scent, I knew I had to try something else.  I found these bath scent oils in our closet.  I thought it might be strong enough to overcome the 3 other scents.  Anyway, by the time I was done, she smelled like a lily scented hiker that had lived outdoors for a month, slept by the campfire and had completely walked away from the showering concept.

Kacey walked in the door, grimaced, asked why she ever thought of leaving me alone, took Maddie, and wouldn't let me explain.  Just another day...

A new smoker...

I have always wanted a smoker.  Why you ask.  Well, I can't really answer that, I just have.  I thought it would be cool to smoke some meat in a smoker.  Now, as far as cooking goes, I watch a lot of it on tv.  So I bought this smoker.  I don't have any real pictures of it yet because work has been crazy and I haven't put it together.  So you will have to rely on the Home Depot website to get your fill of great pictures of the next great tool in my arsenal.  I bought the flavored woods chips and all.  I have never used a smoker, don't really even know how they work.  You have to admit, men, that they are just cool.  Whether you know anything about cooking, smoking meat has been done throughout the generations and is still a manly thing to do.  I am planning on smoking some hamburgers, bacon, and then putting some cheddar cheese and bar-b-que sauce on top.  I know that I am on a life changing diet, but more importantly, I have to use my new toy. 

So here's the background on this tool.  Kacey kept saying, "Why do you want it"?  I could never articulate why, I just knew I had to have it.  She kept saying "No".  I kept asking.  Then, yesterday, i realized that I can just buy it.  I wouldn't recommend this on expensive things, but come on, what was she going to do.  I came home with it and she says, "I wondered how long it would be before you just bought it."  She wasn't even mad.  She was playing some Spock mind tricks on me.  I don't think she even cared if I bought it, but she had some sick pleasure pushing my wants to the bottom of the list.  I had used it as a bargaining chip for years.  She wanted something, so I would say that if she got what she wanted, i would get the smoker.  She always backed down.  Well, now I have to learn to use it.  It may be a year or so before you hear back on this one.  In an optimistic light, I think I am going to try this on the sports car I have wanted and she always says no in response.  I am going to just buy it.  I will let you know how that one goes over.  Hopefully, just as well as the smoker...

I too, can ride a bike

Well, Kacey is not the only one that can ride a bike.  I now have proof that I can also ride on two wheels.  I got a little jealous of Kacey and all the whistles she got as she tooled around on her bike.  So, I went out and bought a bike of my own.  I know you are all jealous, but i had to do it.  Now, when Kacey calls and tells me she is going for a ride, i can rush home, grab a bike of my own, and follow her into the sunset.  I couldn't do the whole comfort bike.  I had to buy a bike that at least is classified as a mountain bike.  Not that I will ever ride off the road, or in the rain for that matter, but I have the option if the opportunity presented itself.  It would pretty much take an earthquake that swallowed up all recognizable parts of Illinois, somehow spared my bike, and I would have to have a reason to peddle into any direction, but nonetheless, I would have the capacity to go off road riding.  At that point, I am guessing it would be better to save my strength to forage for food and to build some kind of domicile, but again, if I wanted to take a joy ride to survey the damage I could.  Truthfully, I am just glad that all the neighbors won't call me a sissy with a big banana seat on my bike.  Now, I will look rough and tumble on my all terrain fully capable mountain climber of a bike.  I think I may even add flames just to ensure no one mistakes this ride as a tame unisex suburban neighborhood bicycle.  No, this is a manly utilitarian transportation machine.  In fact, i liken it to a H2.  Not quite all out, I don't want to go all the way, but the slightly tame, prosumer version of the Army's Hummer.

21st century train ticket

I thought all of you would like to see what my train ticket looks like. Not really, but I wanted to point out the huge security measures that they go through to ensure that no one copies and produces their own tickets. Nevermind, there is no security. Literally, in a half hour I could produce this ticket on photoshop. Then, my favorite, as you can see I have used this pass once. They come around and use a ticket punch, a special star shaped ticket punch I might add. Of all things that I have come across while commuting, this is the most disappointing.

A ride with destiny

This bike is on its way to a loving home. It will be housed from the elements as I am pretty sure kacey will not be riding in snow or rain. Hopefully, it will be used frequently not out of need but out of enjoyment. Everyone keep Kacey honest now that she has a bike. No more getting her on the phone at home during the day. Reach her on the cell 10 miles down the bike path with child in tow. Everyday is a new adventure on 2 wheels! Maddie can't wait!

Petey the Cymbal Monkey

I have a great story for you.  Back to the post I added when i was in Florida enjoying life as it should be lived, in shorts, 90 degree temps, and unemployed.  Remember the one with the mechanical monkey that never surfaced in FL pawn shops?  Well, guess what.  Someone took the time to find Petey on ebay and actually bought it for me.  I now have a second petey that I can use for parts and completely fix the original up.  This is an actual picture of my Petey.  As if seeing this thing in my office doesn't scare most people, now it will soon clap the cymbals and shriek like he was destined to do.  

Some of you are saying, no way, I have seen him before.  Some of you are saying that you have never seen anything like that.  You are wrong.  Unless you have lived under a rock for the past 30 years, you have actually seen petey in some pretty big roles.  Thanks to the TV Tropes Wiki, I now have a full biography and list of works that petey has participated in.  He has played a stirring role in pop culture.  From Nirvana's Sliver video, to Close Encounters of the Third Kind, to Rugrats, to the Simpson's movie, to Disney's movie Aladdin, to the Kim Possible movie, and finally all the way back to James Dean and A Rebel Without a Cause. 

Now that you have been properly educated, I would like to at least show you the real thing...  My Petey is not yet rehabbed.  I am working with stealth like qualities of an antiquities restorer, but soon and very soon, you will see a new video of a working Petey on my shelf.  But until then, here is someone else's to wet your appetite...

Metz and "Sons"

So this is the truck of the landscaper. Well, I took a picture to remember it by because it hasn't been here very often. I wanted to remember what they looked like in case they ever showed up to finish my yard. No, that is a joke, but let me tell you, that name is no joke.

I have poked humor at this guy and his "company" for a while now. And I am sure that you all think I am exaggerating and not being very straight up. So, I downloaded the following pictures so that you could all make your own minds up. These are unaltered pictures of the "workers" that have been planting all of the plant life in my backyard. I have heard of child labor, but your own children??? Come on, there has to be a minimum work age in Illinois.

In this picture, the 7 year old is just too tired to do any more work. He takes a well deserved break and drinks some water. I think he got his 15 minute state mandated break because someone from the labor board showed up. Otherwise, the children were drinking straight from the pool without taking a break. Thank goodness for the inspector.

I thought this photo was really great. There are 3 children working, can you find them in this picture? Kind of like where's Waldo, except this is more where's the 3 underage sweatshop children who should be out enjoying their summer vacation instead of playing take your children to work with you this summer. Wait. I mean make your children do your work this summer! It looks like these 3 got the short end of the stick. I bet they were wishing their dad worked at Great America or something.

This picture is a classic. The conversation went something like this, "When you grow up son you are going to be driving one of these". The little boy responded, "I can't wait for next year to come already, that looks like fun." The father reprimands him, "Enough watching, get back to digging the next hole."

Finally, since this young lad is producing much less work than you would expect from a 7 year old, he is put in timeout in 96 degree heat in the back of the truck. Since this is his first issue today, they left the window down. Poor boy, he'll learn someday...

Paradise

Well, first of all, there is zero retouching on this photo.  The sun was setting and it could not have been more beautiful.  For the first time, I could actually see the pool lights glowing and the sunlight tossing a beautiful orange over the water.  I have to say, this is the only way that the pool looks good right now.  The landscapers only worked 2 days last week due to weather.  Yes, for those of you in Illinois, it only rained part of one day, so you are as in the dark as I am.  If you see this picture during the day you would see that I don't have a single blade of grass in the yard.  While it has been great on the back as I haven't had to mow an inch of grass in the backyard, I must say I miss being able to walk anywhere but on the concrete.  I have a small mud pit occupying my backyard as I write.  I love the pool, all 10 weeks late of it.  

On one note, I have to say that I had the world's best sprinkler company install the sprinkler.  He coordinated with the landscaper and showed up Thursday.  We never heard him.  He called that night to tell us that he would be here Friday to pick up the check.  We asked when he would be finished.  And based on the others, we assumed we were talking weeks.  He said he had a big team here Thursday and informed us that he was already done.  I don't know who he was trying to impress.  I mean he had a couple of weeks before I would have even worried.  He had at least a few more days to finish and I would have still been impressed.  But, he wasted no time and the company Paradise Irrigations will go down at least in this blog as the best company and the most pleasant experience from this summer.  

Isn't that cute

I have to be honest, prior to my dad passing away last year, I hadn't really shed a tear in a long time.  Probably years to be exact.  But, anyway, I have to say that with the birth of my daughter, I have cried a few times.  Not like a running nose, wailing or anything, but you know, sometimes things bring a tear to my eye.  It is probably good for me, but I never thought I would be that kind of person.  Anyway, this didn't bring a tear to my eye, but Maddie has definitely done that in the past 9 months.  I just thought this was a cute picture.  She really wanted the hat on.  She isn't big enough to wear it yet, but she really wanted to try.  So, I had to snap a picture.  You have to admit, she is pretty darn cute.

My Train's Musical Chair Game

Just to start off, i don't actually know the names of anyone on my train or my water taxi.  I don't want to keep telling these stories that say, "This girl" or "That guy", so i am going to start naming people in my life.  Now you ask, why would I need names for people unless I know them, well in a commuter's life, you live a whole secondary life.  No one knows you, yet you all know each other.  Kind of creepy really.  So, the people on my train are always the same.  The people on my water taxi, again, all the same.  I have invented lifestyles and families for most of them.  Yes, you may think that is stupid, but I figure if I am going to spend 15 hours with them a week, I should know more about them.  And instead of getting really odd looks and being classified as creepy myself, I make it up rather than turning to the woman next to me and asking, "so, tell me more about your family..."

So back to my day.  I get on the train at the first stop.  I have my pick of cars and rows.  I sit in the absolute last car in the last row.  This way, I can make my water taxi with about 1 minute to spare.  Otherwise it adds 10 minutes to my day and most of you know I don't work much as it is... I digress.  So there is a young woman who sits in the same row, opposite side.  I've named her Jenny.  She seems nice and she is very quiet.  Plus, I don't know too many Jennys so no one can complain.  This is where it gets interesting.  There is this guy, Leon, perfect name by the way, and he gets on at the second spot.  The really humorous thing is you can see him staking his ground as the train approaches.  Given the number of people that get on at the second spot, he must get there very early to ensure that he is standing at the exact location that the train doors will open.  A true talent I might add.

So he bounds up the stairs, as much as a middle aged, slightly overweight, oddly dressed man can bound.  And sits next to Jenny every day.  And if any of you have read the previous posts, you now know train etiquette.  What don't you do???  You never fill a two person seat until all rows have at least one person in them.  But NOOOO, Leon always sits next to Jenny in the last row.  Now, Jenny is single and it creeps her out a little.  Leon, well, he has been married a few times and truly believes he is the lady's man that he sees himself as.  Again, I don't know anything about these people for real, but I am pretty sure I am not far off...

So today, I get on the train, and Jenny moves up a couple of rows.  Now, this never happens.  When you stake out a seat and claim it for multiple weeks, you don't have the option of changing seats, UNLESS, there is a bum or someone has urinated on the seat.  Those two reasons are some of the only ways you can claim another seat.  You see, what happens is when you change seats, the person who, much in a zombie like state, is going to stumble to their predestined seating location is all of the sudden going to be out of sorts.  Just like the visa commercial where someone pays with cash, you will throw the equilibrium of the ENTIRE train off.  It starts a chain reaction that is hard to contain.  Now that you understand the enormity of the situation, you could see my predicament.  There was a reason why she was changing seats and I didn't know what to do.  Do I tell her to quickly get back to her seat before she sets off imbalances in the universe, or do I just let fate take its toll.  I chose numb inaction as the best form of action. 

Leon got on the train at the next spot.  He looked like a frightened puppy dog in a corner.  He glanced sped back and forth, aisle by aisle.  Where was Jenny.  Just then I realized that she was trying to get away from him.  She put her head down and tried to pretend not to be there.  Much like my daughter Maddie thinks that when her eyes are closed that no one can see her, Jenny wished she could be anywhere but there.  Sure enough, he locked onto her with a stalking stare, like "how dare you try not to sit next to me, don't you know you are locked into the seat you have chosen."  I honesty think that Leon felt that Jenny was cheating and not playing by the rules.  Very strange how he sought her out so feverishly.  Anyway, I can guarantee you this was the last time I saw Jenny on this train or in this car.

I felt really bad.  This guy is really creepy, and she can't seem to shake him.  As we got off the train I suggested another train car or train altogether.  I found it quite amusing during the ride.  I felt bad afterwards.  I hope Jenny can forge another bond with an alternative train car.  It was a good 4 weeks and I wish her well.  

Until tomorrow...

The Human Jungle Gym

This will be short and sweet as I am truly exhausted. Many have you have been faithful followers if this blog know that my little sister is pregnant. Very pregnant. As in t minus roughly 50 days to go. Anyway, she was feeling a bit overwhelmed by the 90+ degree weather, the pregnancy, the 4 year old and the 2 year old. When I mentioned this to kacey, she suggested we relieve her of her duties for the night and go take care of them. Now, I love my sis and all, but I was hoping for her to come over so I could spend a little "bob time" in my new pool. Kacey won and we headed to my sister's house with maddie and dinner in tow. As soon as we walked in the door and for the next 30 minutes, I had all 3 kids hanging on my as if I were a human jungle gym. They climbed, they clawed, they jumped, they yelled. I thought I wanted to keep kacey bare foot and pregnant, but I must have been temporarily insane. Now mind you, they were all being good, they were just being kids. But after a night like tonght, I wonder if Madison will be an only child.

Until tomorrow....

The slippery slope

For those of you who don't know what the Golden Corral is, don't guess, you will probably be wrong and I don't want to have to ask where you came up with that guess. As if McDonalds wasn't bad enough today. As I found out today via in person visit and email from my sister, Garretts popcorn is gone. I don't understand how that place is gone as you had to wait over an hour to get popcorn there. Something must have happened, like a small pet in the popcorn or something and they got sued. I mean, it was a cash business that churned people out as if it was a life altering supplement. But, to make my dietary downward spiral complete, I visited the Golden Corral All you can eat buffet.

Let me tell you, one word, SCARY. First of all, I have never seen that much tattoo covered skin in my life. And, on that same note, these people all had large canvases on which to display their art if you know what I mean. You know people are serious about getting their money's worth when they double fist it with plates. One for the hot courses, one for the cold courses, and of course the obligatory strips of bacon laying across the top of both overflowing plates. I have not returned to the buffet since I was young, so the memories had somewhat faded. I have to say, it will be many a decade before these pictures wear away from the walls in my mind. People fighting over whats left of watery scrambled eggs. Kids mixing all of the ingredients on the dessert station. Sticky buns that leak where the shouldn't leak. And the down to earth waitresses busing dripping plates and replacing them with clean fresh saucers on which a week's worth of calories will slide down the throat lubricated with the 3 previous entrees. It was such a site, I was going to take pictures, but this is maybe the one place on earth that everyone was bigger than me. Though I definitely could have outrun them. Starting tomorrow, back on the wagon, fresh from the Golden Corral...

Until tomorrow...

I failed already

I was one day into my new diet and I failed. I was going to have a salad today for lunch. Then, I got into a time crunch and had a carnal desire for McDonalds. Given that I can spit on McDonalds from my window, I felt obligated to go and have lunch there. What I was scared of was the amount that I used to spend there. I didn't want a sudden withdrawal of revenue to after their quarterly earnings, so I am going to try to let them down slow. Starting with dinner I am back on the diet or "lifestyle change". But, I guess that means I could have an afternoon snack. Garretts popcorn is not that far away....

Metra needs to get into this century

Most of you have read about my first day at work and the troubles I had with that. Well, I just wanted to take a moment, while I was on a Metra train, to really complain about how flawed this system actually is. You can't actually use a credit card in any way within the Metra system. This means to park, to buy a ticket, or to renew a monthly pass. This is the most archaic system I have ever taken part in. Don't you think that today, with just a few people on the internet, maybe, just maybe, you might earn a little more money and maybe, at the end of the day, make peoples lives easier??? So, to park, you have to buy a "credit card". Now this card is great. There is no unique identifier on the card, so you can't actually add money to it from the internet. No, you have to get to your train station a good 30 minutes early just to have the hopes of getting in one of 2 lines to add money to your card. Oh yeah, and how to do that is to put $20 dollars, yes, you can only use cash and you can put a maximum of $20 on your card. So the nice thing about this is that every 13 days you have to do this same thing. This seems to me to be a nice Chicago family job running Metra. No reason to do anything about it, it works, we all make money, why make it easier for the commuter.

Not to try to top that, but how about the actual train itself. If you get on the train at a stop without a ticket booth, which means any 21 of the 23 stops on my line. Yes, there are only 2 ticket counters on my whole line. This means the only place to buy passes is at Chicago Union Station. If you get on the train and don't have cash, they ask you to get off. There is no other option. Now, I have been to restaurants that have wireless credit card adaptors, I have been to theme parks that can give you access badges for rides so you don't have to wait in lines, but metra can't take anything but cash. I have been in third world countries that take more credit than Metra does. And Yes, I have been to third world countries, and yes, for real, they take credit. So then you stand in line in Chicago during rush hour, with about 1,000 of your new best friends in the annals of underground chicago with no air conditioning only to buy your pass from a ticket agent that seems to have cable television behind her on her tv but can't possibly take anything but cash or a paper personal check. Now, Metra can't tell me it is for security because anyone can forge a check. And it is not for a lack of technology as they seem to have phones and cable here. What a waste of time, money, and energy. Metra needs to wake up, or they can just continue to be behind the times and all of us lowly commuters will continue to use them because we have no alternative. But just wait until the hi-speed train comes to chicago from Europe, I bet they will accept credit cards. Nevermind, this is Chicago. Whoever runs Metra will get the promotion to run that line too. Hopeless.

My daily boat ride

As you can see, this is my daily water taxi. It is the commuter’s way to navigate the city. It is nice if you work close to one of its 2 stops. Otherwise, completely useless. Luckily for me, I work about 15 steps from the Michigan Ave. stop. Literally, it drops me off at my building. This is one of those, everyone knows everyone types of closed clubs. I still have not cracked their secret handshake. All spots are spoken for on the boat. I am relegated to the last seat at the back right next to the bathroom. Even when no one else is on the boat, I sit next to the latrine. Kind of embarrassing, but I guess I have to do my time before I can move up. I think someone has to die prior to me getting a respectable seat. The first day I rode, everyone looked at me like I had gotten on the wrong boat. Well, if you remember, I actually was on the wrong boat, but that is another story. Anyway, I am the outsider that no one will talk to on the boat everyday. Kind of funny, but no joke, it is a real clique.

Advice for the non-train commuter

Do not get on the train and sit next to the first person you see. There is etiquette involved here. First of all, there are 2 seats at every position. Make sure at least 1 of those seats is full in every row prior to doubling up. Do not sit next to someone when there are empty rows right in front of you!! Second, when there is one person in every row, look up, the second level is the next place to go. There is no reason that you and your huge laptop bag, lunch bag, and 2 cell phones should be sitting next to me when there are empty rows that can handle you and your entourage without platooning your baggage on my lap. I don't want your apologies or explanations, I want you to sit in your own row. Finally, if you must sit next to someone due to an overly high volume of train passengers due to some catastrophe that every other form of transportation has been found useless and this is the only way to travel throughout the US, sit next to the smallest person first. Yes, I am slightly larger than a lot of people, so why would you choose to cuddle up next to me on the train when there are plenty of 100 pound men and women that you wouldn't have to lean on the entire trip. Just some thoughts for those of you who might occasionally take the train and not know how to handle yourselves. If you have further questions, please ask before acting, it will save you an unexpected departure from the train in a not so subtle fashion.

My wife's protest

I have to admit, I may have to give up this blog. Or, maybe simpler, I may have to stop poking fun at my wife. Unfortunately, she knows that I cannot take care of myself. Actually, I have become dependent on her as she takes care of all of the details of our life. She here is here little protest.

Some of you may remember back a few days ago, I blogged about my wife's insight into life, you know the one where she feels like she needs to have 5 sets of everything she likes from sandals to deodorant. Here is the abundance post if you haven't read it. Anyway, my wife decided it was time to undermine my leadership of the family. She did her normal shopping this week, you know stocking up in case of a flood type of preparation. BUT... instead of buying everything we needed, she selectively left a few things off the list. I went to shave Saturday morning, and I couldn't find the shaving cream. I reached around my 5 deodorant sticks and 3 gallon bottles of contact solution, but to no avail. I figured it was somewhere different, so I just didn't shave. This morning I asked Kacey where my shaving cream was. She informed my that from now on, when i ran out of things, I could add them to the shopping list and she would buy them. She let me know that she didn't want to be a hoarder and fill our cabinets with too much LIKE I HAD BLOGGED ABOUT...

You have got to be kidding! She protested a simple poke of fun with no shaving cream. Now my neck is all raw. She suggested I use soap until she could "get to the store". I couldn't believe the gall it takes to do that. I searched the cabinet and found Nair. I thought about using it, but was disuaded by the idea that it is a chemical peel for hair that disintegrates hair while you watch. I thought that coming to work with half my face missing and explaining that I used Nair on my face wouldn't be the best career move. So I sucked it up and used soap. This will not be the last of this issue, but Kacey won this battle. But don't worry, it is not the last battle...

Until tomorrow...

We got a bike

So we bought Kacey a bike. Here she is on her 5th test drive. I am not sure what has changed over the past week and 5 test rides, but we finally pulled the trigger. She wanted me to buy a bike also tonight. I considered it, but had a question for the sales-guy. Where are the ones with the motors? I don't think that a self propelled 2 wheeled vehicle is conducive to my svelte figure. He laughed and told me I have the wrong store for that. We both agreed and bought Kacey a bike. I hope it treats her well. I think I will drive the chaser vehicle with water and back up tires for her rides. That way, when she is overcome with heat or just tires out after a 50 mile ride, I have her back. She will thank me later. That, or I will ride behind her and give her a tap with the bumper when she slows below 20 miles per hour. We will see, but I will keep you up to date on her "big adventures" on the bike.

I can't figure out why I am overweight

So, just like the other 80% of americans, I am overweight. I read about it everyday on the internet how America is overweight and we have to do something about obesity. While I don't consider myself obese, I do think that maybe I have a pound or two, or fifty to lose. I think about this and with the pool now, I am thinking I will do something about it. So I went out with some people tonight and we decided to share an appetizer. As I ate some, I realized that maybe there is a reason I am not losing weight. I have included the following picture in case you can't figure it out. I am thinking that maybe some wholesale lifestyle changes are in order. As much as I like fries, cheese, extra bacon all topped with a delicate tasting of salt, I think that maybe the salt is a little too much. In case you are worried, I tried to cut back on the salt a touch tonight.

Busy day

Well, today was back to our old life.  I woke up early to go to see my sister.  As you can see from the other posts, we will have a new addition soon of a little boy.  I can't wait to see my little nephew.  Then we had lunch with a bunch of new friends.  My wife met friends on the internet.  I used to make fun of people for doing this, but somehow, these people were somewhat normal.  Remember the days when if you met someone online they were a pedophile and 40 years old.  My step sister michele met someone online and I thought he was going to be like that.  I was ready to guard Maddie from him, and he turned out normal, so I guess there is hope.  So I met that group of people for lunch. Then I rushed home to get ready for school.  I am not sure what I was thinking but I rushed out of the house and got to class by 3pm.  Yeah, my class didn't start until 330pm.  I have no idea what I was thinking, but at least I wasn't late.  Then 2 old friends stopped by for dinner.  I am not sure if stopped by is the right expression.  They brought potatoes, cole slaw, and corn.  We cooked the steaks.  I guess maybe price wise it was equal, but it seemed as though they cooked a lot more than we did.  Then we sat around and talked and then kicked them out when we got tired.  Busy, but somewhat uninteresting day.  Maybe tomorrow will have more stories to keep you all reading.  We will see.

Until tomorrow...